Stomach Flu?, Parenting Conference, and Meeting Your Spouses Needs.

Okay, so if you haven't figured it out from the random title I decided to post "Motivated Mommy Monday's" post and "Taking it to Him Tuesday's" post with today's "Wedded Wednesday" post. I've decided to start with "Taking it to Him Tuesday" because "Motivated Mommy Monday" and "Wedded Wednesday" kind of go together this week.

Taking it to Him Tuesday:

This week I am praying for family health. The reason: 2010 has not been good to the Goolsby family's health. Thankfully, we have not had any major illnesses. However, we have all had several sinus infections and colds. We even had laryngitis at one point! Things have been so blurred together that it was hard to pin point when one virus or infection ended and the next began. We finally got over all the congestion and throat problems last week, only to be bombarded by a stomach virus this week. It just hit in the early hours of this morning. At first I thought it might just be the Stomach Flu, but now I'm not so sure.

Warning: If my post last week about puke disgusted you, you may want to skip this paragraph.  @ 4 this morning Cherish woke up and walked to my room. I could hear her crying followed by the pitter patter of her little feet coming down the hall so I got out of bed to open the door and find out what was wrong. I thought maybe she wet her bed or had a bad dream, boy was I wrong. As soon as I opened the door I was hit with the smell of poop. Disgusting! She immediately turned and walked towards the bathroom. Of course, I followed and flicked on the light. That's when I saw that her pants were pasted to her legs with diarrhea. Again disgusting! I immediately stripped her down and set her on the toilet while I cleaned her clothes, her bed and the floor (bathroom, hall, and kid's bedroom). When I got her off the toilet to clean her up I discovered she had done it again. Thankfully this time it was in the toilet! But it doesn't stop there; my husband and I both were feeling rather weak this morning, which made me think we were all coming down with the stomach flu. However, it is early afternoon now and Cherish has only had one more incident since this morning. Plus I'm feeling much better now. So, I am praying it was just a 24 hr. bug. * Things are looking up. I just got a call about a friends little girl who was in the same class as Cherish yesterday when I went to my M.O.M.S. study. She had a bout of diarrhea yesterday afternoon, but was fine over night and fine this morning.*

Anyways, with the weather changing around here I really want for all of us to get better and stay better so we can go out and enjoy the wonderful Texas spring. So that's why this week's prayer focus is on family health.

Motivated Mommy Monday:

So, as most of you know I went to a parenting conference this weekend with Dr. Richard Marks. As promised, I wanted to share with you a little about what I learned. First, I will say most of what he taught I have heard before and already know the importance behind it. However, I still feel like I walked away a better parent.

Here's why: He drove home the truth behind the statement "Pain seeks pleasure."

Here's how: Dr. Marks talked a lot about how our society just wants us to "STOP IT!" without ever figuring out why we are behaving a certain way. Think about it, as parents we say: "Just stop whining!" or, "Stop hitting your sister", sometimes its "Stop throwing a fit", even "Stop getting into that", "Stop it, stop it, stop it!" I know I am guilty of saying some of these things to my kids. Dr. Marks is one who believes we have to stop that and figure out the heart issues behind these actions in order to deal with them accordingly (I will talk more about this in a few weeks when I go to Ted Trips Shepherding a Child's Heart Conference). For now, I want to focus on the unique point Dr. Marks made. His point was that we need to figure out if our childs actions are reflecting an emotional need he or she has. If so we need to attempt to meet it, because *if we fail to meet that need something or someone else will meet it!* As I mentioned before, pain seeks pleasure. If our child has pain from an unmet need he will find someone or something to fill that void with. This is exactly how kids fall into sin and addiction. It is also how they end up in destructive relationships.

So my question to you is does your child have an unmet need? If so is someone or something other than you and your spouse filling it? How can you attempt to change that? If it is not happening now how can you prevent it from happening in the future?

Here's what we need to do: Teach our children to SPEAK up and tell us what they need from us. For example: "I like it when" or "I don't like it when." Wow, doesn't this go against a lot of what our parents taught us about how children are to be seen not heard!  Then we need to learn to LISTEN to them. I mean truly listen. Think about it, how would you feel if no one ever cared what you had to say about something, never took the time to listen to you? Don't misunderstand me here; I am not saying understanding where your child is coming from means agreeing with how they behaved. If you disagree you simply say, "Son, I understand why you felt like that and reacted that way, but that does not make it right, so here is your punishment and here's why. Finally, we all need to COOPERATE with each other. This can mean compromising on certain issues but it doesn't have to mean that. What it usually entails is the child cooperating with the parent's rules and the parent in turn cooperating with the child to meet their needs.

Wedded Wednesday:

It didn't take me long to realize that the above "pain seeks pleasure" truth relates to all relationships not just parenting. We can also apply it to our marriages.

Here's how: we need to figure out if our spouse's actions are reflecting an emotional need he or she has. If so we need to attempt to meet it, because *if we fail to meet that need something of someone else will meet it!* Again, pain seeks pleasure. If our spouse has pain from an unmet need he will find someone or something to fill that void with. This is how married men and women fall into sin and addiction. It is also how they end up in extramarital relationships.

So my question to you is does your spouse have an unmet need? If so is someone or something other than you filling it? How can you attempt to change that? If it is not happening now how can you prevent it from happening in the future? Also, do you have an unmet need you need to express to your spouse before you fall into sin? Have you already fallen into sin? If so, how can you come clean with your spouse and leave the sin behind?


Here's how: SPEAK to your spouse about your needs and let them speak to you about theirs. Also, LISTEN to their heart. Truly listen. Finally, COOPERATE figure out how you can meet each others needs.

Just some thoughts,
MEL